Once you are finished, you should take a few minutes to register for the Michael Kors Watch Giveaway. I've not had anyone post the significance of the watch as the giveaway prize. The most original post will get a gift not yet revealed (signed paperback copy of Grave Bound... *wink*).
Enjoy chapter 1 (and the prologue) and don't forget to leave me a line letting me know your thoughts!
*This book was written for +17 due to sexual situations and profanity.
Emily
"Happily ever after
my ass!" I say bitterly before slamming my book closed and throwing it
into the lake. Spread open and facedown, the cheap, ragged paperback floats
along the surface, gliding farther and farther away from the lake's edge.
I get absolutely
no satisfaction when it soaks up so much water it's finally dragged below the ripples
of the lake's inky surface. Nothing about the book's death (at my hands) makes me
feel better because it's not Lorenzo or any of the other people who've betrayed
me, the people I hate bone deep right now.
I look around and realize
everyone who accompanied me to the lake for the first swim of the summer has long
since headed home. My best friends, Becca, Kira, and Patti, had never seen me
in such a weird mood. They had no idea what's going on with me or what to do
about it. Since I couldn't talk to them about my problems, they got irritated
and decided leaving me alone to think was their best option.
They were right.
Refusing to feel sorry
for myself, I take a deep breath of the humid lake air and listen to the blue
birds singing in the distance. For the millionth time, I wish I were more like my
friends… wish I could conform… wish I didn't resent with every fiber of my
being the fate in store for me. It's the destiny of every woman in my community.
The biggest difference between the rest of the women and me is the fact that my
entire future was just put into the hands of the vilest man I've ever known,
and theirs wasn't. Repulsion has a name, and it's Lorenzo William Bijou.
"Stop it! There's
still time for you to make Owen change his mind. This is the first official day
of summer. The first day without Owen or the boys. I don't want to spend the
next three months worrying about something that may never happen," I say aloud
to myself.
I wish I could get
back into the same frame of mind I'd been in when I went door-to-door earlier
that morning, begging Becca, Kira, and Patti to blow off their chores and
celebrate my summer of freedom. Right now, I'd give anything in my possession
to get back the naive happiness I felt before I learned that Owen—my father —and
Brian, Joe, and Phil—my older brothers—deceived me in ways I'd never seen
coming.
Staring mindlessly
at the sun reflecting off the lake's deceptively calm surface, I think back to the
morning's mischievousness. At first, my friends refused to sneak away for a day
of carefree swimming. Then, I gave them my puppy dog eyes and reminded them that
all of the commune leaders, which included our fathers and brothers, were gone
for three entire months. With the men away, there was no one for us to wait on
and no one to punish us if we got caught.
Well… almost no one.
Unable to resist me
or my big brown eyes, Becca, Kira, and Patti eventually conceded and joined me
in reporting to the workstation at the union hall, doubling over, and swearing we
were all suffering from violent stomach viruses. Covering our tracks, I even stuck
my finger down my throat. With tears streaming down my face, I dashed toward
the bathroom, gagging and covering my mouth.
Aunt Tess ran into
the bathroom behind me and held my hair away from my face while I threw up the
cereal I'd eaten for breakfast. I hadn't expected Tess to follow me or for her
to make such a big deal out of my being sick. Tess is the closest thing I have to
a mother, and I always hate to make her worry.
"Emily Ador
Riddle, why did you come here if you're sick? It's obviously contagious. Look
at your friends. Now, every one of these kids will probably get sick, and we'll
be up for days cleanin' up vomit, changin' diapers, and keepin' 'em hydrated. Y'all
go back home, and I'll be by to check on you later," Tess said, pulling my
hair back into the Scrunchie she fished from her pocket.
Surprised by her
uncharacteristic outburst, I noticed that Tess scolded me with a North Louisiana
drawl that was more pronounced than usual.
With my hair out
of my face, I noted Tess's steel-blue eyes were bloodshot, and there were deep,
dark circles beneath them. My aunt's hair was thrown up into a bizarrely messy
bun rather than her normal freakishly neat French twist. Instead of her signature
flowing tank dress, sandals, and wooden beads, my free-spirited aunt was wearing
a wrinkled, oversized tee, jeans, and hiking boots. Something about Tess had me
as worried for her as she was for me.
I wanted to ask her
what was bothering her, but I knew better than to probe. Tess is as
tight-lipped as her brother… my father… The Community's leader.
My shame and
concern was abruptly replaced by panic when I realized Tess could come by my
house to check on me while I was out playing hooky at the lake.
I shook my head.
"No, Aunt Tess. You're right. I never should've come in. Don't stop by.
The more you're around me, the higher the chances of you gettin' sick. I'll be
fine. If I need anythin', I'll let you know. I promise."
Tess studied me. "I
don't know. You're over there at that big ol’ house all by yourself. What if
you get too weak to go get help? I still don't understand why you wouldn't stay
with me this summer. That's our tradition. Late night reading and girl talk.
I'm gonna miss it," Tess said. I looked away as the disappointment
registered on her face.
My decision to spend
the summer alone at my father's house rather than with Tess had everything to
do with Tess's “adopted” son. Tess unofficially—and more than a little begrudgingly—adopted the now eighteen-year-old
Lorenzo after his mother was killed in an accident several years ago. I love my
father's sister the way I'd love a mother if I had one. Unfortunately, my love
and respect for Tess doesn't spill over to Lorenzo.
For reasons I still
don't understand, Owen demanded Tess become Lorenzo's mother, and she knew refusing
wasn’t an option. Not in the commune.
Instantly, Tess becomes the proud parent of
a sociopath. I roll my eyes at the absurdity of my father's demands.
Lorenzo's mother,
Viv Bijou, had been a beautiful and eccentric woman. For my entire life, I had heard
rumors about her. Most of the gossip centered on her being a tainted union hall whore. In the commune,
tainted is slang for a woman who's had
an out-of-wedlock affair.
In Viv's case, her
affair was with a man outside the commune, and it left her pregnant with
Lorenzo. When Viv's daddy found out what she had done, he tracked her down like
a bloodhound, dragged her back to the commune, and let The Community's elders beat
her nearly to death with a razor whip.
To this day, I
still remember accidentally walking in on Viv while she was trying on some
hand-me-down clothes at Tess's house. The red-raised scars that angrily crisscrossed
her back were gruesome and ugly. Viv's unfortunate decisions made her the
poster child for the commune's young girls… an example of what happens when you
try to leave, an action not tolerated by the commune's leaders.
Even now, it saddens
me to know Viv's scars were the reason Lorenzo's daddy refused to take Viv back
or have anything to do with his son. Scarred for life, pregnant with an illegitimate
child, and now tainted, Viv had been
sent to live at the union hall. After she delivered Lorenzo, she was given no
choice but to become a whore, because in the elders' eyes whoring is all tainted women are good for.
I never once cared
that Viv was tainted. What scared me was
the fact that she was deeply disturbed and, at times, filled with a rage that
frightened even the bravest commune resident. Regrettably, Viv's mental
problems and pure hatred were passed down to Lorenzo.
I jumped at the
banging on the bathroom door. "Tess, what's going on in there," a harsh
and angry voice yelled.
Like a bitter
sibling, Lorenzo hates every second Tess and I spend together. Since the locked
door was preventing him from knowing exactly what we were doing and every word we
were saying, he was pissed.
Lorenzo's a man amongst The Community's
leaders now that he's eighteen. I had to remind myself so I wouldn't tell
him what I really thought about him.
Tess's head snapped
toward the banging. For the briefest of moments, I saw a flash of fear in her
eyes.
"Y-you're
right, Emi. I want you to go home and get some rest. I'll come by in the mornin'
to check on you. Call me if you need anythin'," Tess said, tenderly pushing
an invisible strand of hair behind my ear.
Ashamed of my
dishonesty, I nodded and looked down before Tess realized there was nothing
wrong with me but the web of lies I was spinning and the pounds of guilt weighing
me down. Tess opened the door for the tall and muscular Lorenzo. He looked past
her, and his stare raked up and down my body. He made me feel naked even though
I was wearing conservative cutoff shorts and a halter-top. Unconsciously, I
cross my arms.
If Lorenzo's
features belonged to anyone else, I'd find the boulder of a man one of the most
handsome I've ever seen. His hair is cappuccino brown and wavy; his eyes are
steel blue; his skin is perfectly bronzed; and his muscles are big and bulky.
Unfortunately, they don't belong to anyone else. They are bundled up within Lorenzo's
sadistic personality, and I loathe everything about him.
"What's wrong
with you? You up to somethin' now that your daddy and brothers ain't
around?" Lorenzo said with a sneer.
Tess patted his arm
and tried too hard to be chipper when she said, "Heavens no, Lorenzo. They
all have stomach viruses. They're goin' back home 'til they feel better." Tess
looked back at me. "Don't forget I'll be by in the mornin', sweetie."
I nodded before
going to the sink and washing my face and hands. I had to get rid of the disgusting
stomach acid coating the inside of my nose and making everything reek of puke.
I heard the door
shut behind Tess and assumed I was alone. When I stood up and found two faces—mine
dripping wet and Lorenzo's suggestively smirking—in the mirror, I was startled.
He may be a few months
younger than me, but he stands at least half a foot taller than my five-foot-nine
frame.
His sneer had
turned into the kind of possessive glare he always has when it's just the two
of us. While he ogled me, I silently questioned what I did to make him hate me
so much. Whatever it was must have been bad. I wondered if it was too late to
apologize.
"You know your
daddy and brothers felt pretty bad when Viv died. Insteada findin' out why they
was so guilty, I decided to use their guilt to get somethin' I've always wanted,"
he said, raising his eyebrows dramatically. "You. I asked Owen if you can
be promised to me. With a little bit of pressure, he finally agreed."
My mouth dropped
open, every bit of air gushing from my lungs. My shock was the exact response
Lorenzo was looking for judging by the gleam in his eyes and his malicious lopsided
grin.
"That's
right, Emi. I'll be the father o’ your children and the one to decide if you
get sent away when you're twenty-one."
You've freakin' got to be kiddin' me, I thought.
With a desperate
determination, I narrowed my eyes. "I'll kill myself first!" I whispered,
and I meant every hate-filled syllable.
My current disrespect
for Lorenzo would have been intolerable in Owen's eyes. If he or the boys heard
how I'd just spoken to Lorenzo, I'd be picking myself up off the floor and nursing
a bloody lip.
Within The
Community, there are rules that have to be followed without exception. One of
the most important ones is the woman's place. Women within the commune are
taught from birth that they are essentially second-class citizens who are
required to treat men—every single one of them—with reverence no matter what they
do or say. Nothing less. Ever.
If what Lorenzo told
me is true, he will be the only person who will have a say in whether or not I'm
allowed to live within The Community with the babies I'll be forced to have
with him. If he wants, he'll be able to send me away (to God only knows where)
while the women of the commune raise my children. Soon, he'll be able to do
whatever he wants to me. When that time comes, my back-talking will haunt me,
but I can't help myself. I refuse to cower.
With the familiar
arrogance the men within the commune are conditioned to possess, Lorenzo
chuckled. "Yeah right. I've seen you. You're just like Tess. You'll do
anythin' Owen tells you to do. The two of you are the good little lap dogs he's
taught you to be. Actually, that's what I like about you. As soon as you're
mine, you'll be my lap dog, and I have somethin' I want you to lick… long and
hard."
He forced his hips
against me, trapping me against the sink. He snaked his hand around my waist, pulled
me closer to him, and used his free hand to cup my breast. As he squeezed it
tight, I tried not to scream out in pain. I bit my tongue until it bled, refusing
to give in to his taunts. Tears welled up, but I would not let him see me cry.
"Damn, I want
to fuck you right now," he whispered in my ear, sucking the lobe into his
mouth and giving it a little bite.
Even with an empty
stomach, I wanted to throw up at the thought.
Thankfully, there
was another knock on the door. Lorenzo groaned in pure irritation. "Right
now, I want to fuckin' kill whoever’s on the other side of that door. Since I'm
sure it's your nosey aunt, I won't."
He pushed against me
one more hard time, pinched my nipple until it stung, and kissed my neck.
"Think about me tonight will you, Emi?" he said hoarsely before
flinging open the door. "She's all yours."
I still remember
looking in the mirror and seeing that Tess had indeed returned. We stared at each
other. Based on my hurt, she knew what he'd just revealed. The earlier fear I'd
seen in her eyes returned, and with it, I knew Lorenzo told the truth.
Until that very
minute, I'd naively assumed my father's status as the leader of the commune
would give me advantages not offered to others. Today, I learned I would not be
given any more privilege or respect than the other women in The Community.
I glared at Tess.
All guilt and worry had vanished. "Don't you come check on me in the
mornin'. Do you hear me?" I said hatefully. The phlegm in my throat kept
the words from traveling any farther than Tess's ears.
Tess nodded, wiped
a tear from her eye, ducked her head in shame, and walked away.
